ANGER - Self-Forgiveness

Growing up my grandmother and still to this day expresses a lot of anger. She has had many un-dealt with traumas in her life that come out in anger. I lived with my grandparents until I was 21. My grandmother mostly took her anger out on my grandfather and mother because they where both very passive and would allow her to. I observed my grandmother getting mad at my grandfather about every little thing - things that where not even anything.

I took on a blended personality of my nice - shy, passive grandfather and mother and my nice but very angry at life grandmother.

This has made me into a nice - shy, passive/anger suppressed person.
I accepted and allowed myself to become this nice - shy, passive/anger suppressed person.

I have since come a long way with my shyness however still a work in progress. I exspress my feelings now except for anger. I have anger that shows it'self inside me over little things people do - due to my observations as a kid growing up watching my grandmother get angry at every little thing people did. This anger has been deeply suppressed out of my fear of expressing myself due to my shyness and fear of not being looked at as perfect.

I STOP
I stop participation in anger, as anger is of the mind. Anger is not who I really am. Anger is an illusion of the mind and solves nothing.

I fogive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that anger exist.
I fogive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define myself with and as anger.
I fogive myself for accepting and allowing myself to take on the characteristics of shyness and anger suppression of my mother and grandfather.
I fogive myself for accepting and allowing myself to take on the characteristics of anger from my grandmother.
I fogive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that getting anger at people for every little thing is the way life is and the way I should be.
I fogive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not recognize that anger is an illusion.
I fogive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not recognize that my grandmothers anger was due to undealt with past traumas.
I fogive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear expressing ME.
I fogive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear expressing anger.
I fogive myself for accepting and allowing myself to admit to having anger/getting angry.
I fogive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be controlled by anger.
I fogive myself for accepting and allowing myself to seperate me from others with my identification with and as anger.
I fogive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be run by anger.
I fogive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not be in my power and move and direct me HERE as who I really am.
I fogive myself for accepting and allowing myself to get angry at myself for not being able to express my anger.
I fogive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be angry at my grandmother for being mean and angry toward my grandfather, mother, me, uncle, pets and aunt.
I fogive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear not being looked at as perfect if I where to express anger.
I fogive myself for accepting and allowing myself to participate with and in anger.
I fogive myself for accepting and allowing myself to react witih anger.
I fogive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be angry with myself.
I fogive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not love myself.
I fogive myself for accepting and allowing myself to exert anger to another instead of realising that this anger within me - has been manifested by myself through participation of thoughts.
I fogive myself for accepting and allowing anger to exist within me.
I fogive myself for accepting and allowing myself to to react with anger and in anger.
I fogive myself that I have allowed and accepted anger within another and thus validated the existence of anger within me.
I fogive myself for accepting and allowing myself to to be angry at and with the money system.
I fogive myself for accepting and allowing myself to exert this anger within me towards the money system of the world.
I fogive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be angry at people that have a lot of money.
I fogive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge people that have a lot of money as being bad.
I fogive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be angry at all of the presidents that are on the money due to my thoughts of them being bad people.
I fogive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be angry at the taxes that come out of my paycheck.
I fogive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be angry at the government for using money for war.
I fogive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be angry at the government for not using tax money for united healthcare and education.
I fogive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be angry at time when I haven't had enough money.
I fogive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be angry at credit card companies.
I fogive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be angry at Sophia for being part of the reason I had so much credit card debt.
I fogive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be angry at Sophia for cheating on me.
I fogive myself for accepting and allowing myself to to be angry at Sophia lieing to me.
I fogive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be angry at Sophia for being jealous and mad at me when I talked to other girls.
I fogive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be angry at Emily for being so controling over me.
I fogive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be angry at myself for not being in my power to stand up for myself.
I fogive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be angry at the guy that Sophia cheated on me with.
I fogive myself for accepting and allowing myself to exspress with and as anger toward Sophia.
I fogive myself for accepting and allowing myself to exspress with and as anger toward the guy Sophia cheated on me with.
I fogive myself for accepting and allowing myself to live in anger.
I fogive myself for accepting and allowing myself to exert this anger within me towards God that doesn't exist.
I fogive myself for accepting and allowing myself to to be angry with "God".
I fogive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be angry at and with my mom.
I fogive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be angry at my mom when I was in kindergarden because she seemed very "tom boyish" and a kid pointed that out to me.
I fogive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be angry at my mom for always asking me if I did my taxes yet everytime I speak to her during tax time.
I fogive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be angry at my mom for repeating herself in conversation.
I fogive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be angry at my mom for not having a father for me when I was growing up.
I fogive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be angry at Steve for controling my mom.
I fogive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be angry at Steve for being an alcholic.
I fogive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be angry at Steve for being a for being a sleezeball.
I fogive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be angry at Steve for not being responsable and getting drunk then having my mom call me to pick him up.
I fogive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be angry at my dad for pretending that he didn't know I existed until I contacted him.
I fogive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be angry at my dad for cheating on his fiance with my mother who lived next door.
I fogive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be angry at my mom for not telling me about my dad.
I fogive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be angry at my mom for not being openinly communicative with me and telling me about my dad, instead I had to ask my grandmother.
I fogive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be angry at myself for not being brave enough to ask my mom or family about my dad, instead my girlfriend at the time had to ask my grandmother.
I fogive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be angry at my grandmother for being passivly mean to me with remarks.
I fogive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be angry at my grandmother for not telling me about my dad.
I fogive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be angry at my grandmother for making comments of "are you gay" because I was a quite kid with femine qualities.
I fogive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be angry at all of my past girlfriends that broke up with me.
I fogive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be angry at the time when I was in my teens that I didn't get to have sex with Yolanda.
I fogive myself for accepting and allowing myself exert this anger within me toward my family.
I fogive myself for accepting and allowing myself to exert this anger wtihing me toward my mom.
I fogive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be frustrated with my mom for seeming "slow".
I fogive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be angry at my mom for seeming very "young minded".
I fogive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be angry with me.
I fogive myself for accepting and allowing myself to exert this anger within me towards myself - instead of using this anger to stand up and say: 'Till here no further and stop the mind.
I fogive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be angry with the world.
I fogive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be angry that all of the people in the world are so mean to each other and materalistic.
I fogive myself for accepting and allowing myself to exert this anger within me towards the world.
I fogive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be angry with humanity.
I fogive myself for accepting and allowing myself to exert this anger wtihin me towards humanity.
I fogive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be angry with the government.
I fogive myself for accepting and allowing myself to exert this anger within me towards the government.
I fogive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be angry with the media.
I fogive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be angry at the media for lieing to the public.
I fogive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be angry at the media for holding back truths to keep the public un-aware.
I fogive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be angry at the media for working for the "devel"/the government/the elite.
I fogive myself for accepting and allowing myself to exert this anger withing me towards the media.
I fogive myself that I haven't allowed myself to realise that exerting anger to someone or something separate from me is a statement of blame - instead of me taking self responsibility for me in applying self forgivenesss for allowing and accepting anger withing me through the participation in thoughts and thus me standing up as me for me as who i am.
I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to relise that anger exist within me becuase I am not allowing myself to take self responsibility for me in living self hnesty.
I fogive myself for accepting and allowing myself to to be angry with and at rapist.
I fogive myself for accepting and allowing myself to exert my anger towards rapists through blame.
I fogive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be angry with and at murderes and killers.
I fogive myself for accepting and allowing myself to exert my anger towards murderes and rapists through blame - instead of realising that it is the systems - the mind - as them accepting and allowing this - the very same mind of system that I have accepted and allowed within me. NO MORE! I stand up as who I am - I no longer accept and allow the mind of systems to direct me, to control me or disempower me. And this I no longer accept and allow the mind of systems in this world as reapistes and murders.
I fogive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear me murdering others from stories I have heard on news of "nice", "normal" people all of a sudden flipping out and killing their loved ones.
I fogive myself for accepting and allowing myself to take on this fear of myself harming others as a mechinizam to protect me from this very thing happeing to me(some sort of brain fluke causing me to go from normal and nice to harming/killing others).
I fogive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be angry at myself for creating images of my harming others as a mechanizm to protect me from flipping out and doing this.
I fogive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be angry at myself for fearing me flipping out due to some out of nowhere brain fluke and harming/killing loved ones/others.
I fogive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be angry at myself for accepting and allowing myself to belive that I have to protect myself from flipping out and harming/killing others by projecting thoughts/images of me actually harming others so that I will be in control and not allow this to ever happen.
I fogive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear harming myself.
I fogive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear harming others.
I fogive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be angry at myself for contemplating suicide in the past.
I fogive myself for accepting and allowing myself to project my anger within me through the thoughts of suicide.
I fogive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be angry at myself for wanting to kill myself after Sophia cheated on me.
I fogive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be angry at myself for wanting to kill myself after sophia broke up with me.
I fogive myself for accepting and allowing myself to exert this anger within and as me toward the situation of sophia cheating on me and breaking up with me.
I fogive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be angry at glenda for breaking up with me.
I fogive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be angry at kelly for cheaing on me.
I fogive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be angry within and at this existence.
I fogive myself for accepting and allowing myself to to exert my anger towards this existence instead of realising that the very something or someone I am angry with and at to which i exert my anger - I am responsible for - and the exertion of anger is but the statement of blame and that I am not willing to take respoinsibility for what I have accepted and allowed within myself and thus within this existence.
I fogive myself for accepting and allowing myself to to be angry with and at the military.
I fogive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be angry at soildiers that join the military because the think it is cool.
I fogive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be angry with and at soildiers for going to war and killing other.
I fogive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be angry at soildiers that show of and are proud to be in the military.
I fogive myself for accepting and allowing myself to exert my anger towards the military and soildiers.
I fogive myself that I haven't allowed myself to realise that being angry with and at and exerting my anger towards and to something or someone seperate from me: gets me nowwhere - but left with even more frustration, anger and resentment - instead of me realising that I must stand up within and as myself as who i am and to not acept or allow anything less then who I am.
I fogive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear that this self forgiveness that I am applying right now will not be effective - i realease this fear as it is an illusion of the mind and is not real- I STOP participation with and as this fear of my self forgiveness i am applying here not being effective in realising points of anger within and as me.
I fogive myself that i haven't allowed myself to realise that being angry with and at and exerting my anger towards and to something or someone seperate from me: i am giving that very something or someon the power, acceptance and allowance, support and assistance to exist - instead of me taking my own power and standing up as who I am in assisting and suporting myself with self honesty, self application and self forgiveness.
I fogive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be angry with and at the existence of money - wishing that money never existed.
I fogive myself for accepting and allowing myself to exert my anger towards money - blaming money for the situation the world and my life is in - instead of me looking at myself first.
I fogive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be angry wtih the current status and position and experiencce of myself in my life.
I fogive myself for accepting and allowing myself to exert my anger towards the current status and position and experience of myself in my life - blaming everything and everyone else around, outside of me - instead of me standing up within myself and directing myself if I am simply not statisfied with where i am and what I have become.
I fogive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be angry with and at the tax system.
I fogive myself for accepting and allowing myself to exert my anger towards the tax system.
I fogive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use alcohol to attempt and try and suppress this anger within me.
I fogive myself for accepting and allowing myself to attempt and try and suppress this anger within me with substances such as drugs and medication - instead of me standing up within me as me and directing this anger through self forgiveness to release - to no longer accept and allow this anger within me to consume and overpower me.
I fogive myself for accepting and allowing myself be consumed and overpwered by anger.
I fogive myself for accepting and allowing myself to become a slave to anger.
I fogive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be controled directed and told who and what I am by anger.
I fogive that I haven't allowed myself to take a moment for me as me and relise: Wait a minute, but I'm not this anger!
I fogive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be angry with and at the educational system.
I fogive myself for accepting and allowing myself to exert my anger towards the educational system.
I fogive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be angry with and at security foreces, police, cia, fbi.
I fogive myself for accepting and allowing myself to exert my anger towards the security forces, police, cia and fbi.
I fogive myself that i haven't allowed myself to realise that there are many, multiple, various manifexstations in this world and of this world to which ai am able to exert my anger, to be angry with and at - existing so that I am not able to see and relise that the anger i am experienceing - I am repsonsible for becuase it's exiting wihtin me.
I fogive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be angry with and at Anu.
I fogive myself for accepting and allowing myself to exert my anger towards Anu.
I fogive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have an outlet for anger instead of me taking responsibility for this anger I have accepted and allowed to generate within me through thoughts - by applying self forevieness and living self honesty.
I fogive myself for accepting and allowing myself to denie the anger within and as me by suppressing it and pretending that it doesn't exist.
I fogive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be angry with and at teachers.
I fogive myself for accepting and allowing myself to exert my anger towards teachers (in schools that teach children useless knowledge and information to program their minds).
I fogive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be angry with and at the existence of religion, spirituality, new age monements and atheist, scientologist and diciples of gurus which included myself.
I fogive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be angry at myself for accepting and allowing myself to follow a path instead of trusing myself, being myself and moving and directing myself and not following anyone elses path.
I fogive myself for accepting and allowing myself to exertmy anger towards the existence of religion, spirituallity new age momvements, scientologist and those that follow gurus including myself.
I fogive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be angry with and at the existence of pope and priests.
I fogive myself for accepting and allowing myself to exert my anger towards the existence of pope and prests.
I fogive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be angry with and at the existence of drung.
I fogive myself for accepting and allowing myself to exert my anger towards the existence of drungs.
I fogive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be angry with and at the existence of alcohol.
I fogive myself for accepting and allowing myself to exert my anger to the existence of alcohol.
I fogive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be angr with and at the existence of weapons, weapons of mass destruction, guns knives bombs.
I fogive myself for accepting and allowing myself to exert my anger towards the existence or weapons, weapons of mass destruction, firearms, guns, bombs knives.
I fogive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think and believe that to be angry with and at and to exert my anger towards and to something or someone sepearte from me - is making a statement that i do not accpet and allow its existence - when actually it's the direct opposite. Exerting, being angry with and at something or someone separate from me - is a statement of blame and thus i give that very something or someone the power to exist. It is not to exert anger or blame - but to realise that I am accepting and allowing the very existence ot that somehting or someone if I allow and accept the existence of my mind - the sysstem. And thus to stand up within and as me to no longer acceptn and allow my mind to contol, direct or disempower me.
I fogive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be angry with and at the existence of illness, disease and sickness.
I fogive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be angry with and at myself for causing myself to have disease and illness.
I fogive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be angry at myself for creating disease and illness within and as me to get attention and care from Mer.
I fogive myself for accepting and allowing myself to exert my anger toward myself for accepting and allowing myself to create disease and illness within and as me for attention and care from Mer.
I fogive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be angry when I get colds or the flu.
I fogive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be angry at my hands for having an illness.
I fogive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be angry at myself for having an "autoimmune" disordere.
I fogive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be angry with and at the existence of poverty.
I fogive myself for accepting and allowing myself to exert my anger towards the existence of poverty.
I fogive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be angry with and at the existence of starvation.
I fogive myself for accepting and allowing myself to exert my anger towards the existence of starvation.
I fogive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be angry with and at the existence of wealth.
I fogive myself for accepting and allowing myself to exert my anger towards the existence of wealth.
I fogive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be angry at this blog site for taking an extended amount of time sometimes for things that I copy and paste to show up.
I fogive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be angry with mer for my judgements of her flirting with other guys.
I fogive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be angry at mer for speaking from her unconscious mind sometimes.
I fogive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be angry at myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge mer for flirting with other guys and for speaking from her unconscious mind sometimes.
I fogive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be angry at myself for getting frustrated/annoyed with mer sometimes when she is joking around a lot when I am not in the mood.
I fogive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be angry at mer for trying to get my attention when I am not in the mood.
I fogive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be angry at myself for accepting and allowing myself to have anger within and as me when me tries to get my attention when I am not in the mood.
I fogive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be angry at myself for being shy.
I fogive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be angry at myself for accepting and allowing myself to masterbate with physical pictures and mental pictures of girls in my head in the past.
I fogive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be angry at myself for accepting and allowing myself to be shy..
I fogive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be angry at myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge myself.
I fogive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be angry at myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge others.
I fogive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be angry at myself for accepting and allowing myself to try and be perfect.
I fogive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be angry at myself for accepting and allowing myself to give my power over to the mind/mental images of girls.
I fogive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be angry at myself for accepting and allowing myself to be run by the mind and pictures of girls.
I fogive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be angry at myself for accepting and allowing myself to be angry.
I fogive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be angry at myself for accepting and allowing myself to give my power over to the mind thus have my attention pulled off my center everytime a "pretty" girl is in sight.
I fogive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be angry at myself for accepting and allowing myself to enjoy looking at "pretty" girls faces, breast and ass.
I fogive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be angry at myself for accepting and allowing myself to not have been able to release these desires within and as me to look at girls.
I fogive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be angry at my grandmother for being mean to my grandfather.
I fogive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be angry at the police that took my cousin kevin in and and possibly beat him to death.
I fogive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be angry at president bush.
I fogive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be angry at my roomate steve for being so messy.
I fogive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be angry at my roomate steve for not cleaning up after himself.
I fogive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be angry at my roomate steve for not claening up after himself for an extended amount of time.
I fogive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be angry at my roomate steve for letting dishes pile up for many days.
I fogive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be angry at my roomate D for leaving her music on until 4am when I text messaged her to ask her to turn it off.
I fogive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be angry at my roomate D for saying she likes it better when noone is home so she can have the place to herself.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to take D saying she likes it better when noone is home because she can have the place to herself - personal.
I fogive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be angry at Jason for getting stuck in mind loops.
I fogive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be angry at myself for not being "awakened".
I fogive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be angry at myself for not being HERE fully with and as breath.

I STOP.

I Stop participation within and as anger as i see that all anger i express/blame on other is all anger that is within me.
I release all anger in all of it's forms from every aspect of my being right HERE.
Till here no further will I accept and allow myself to be run by anger.
Till here no further will I accept and allow anger to exist within and as me.

I STAND AS LIFE HERE IN ONENESS AND EQUALITY
MOVING AND DIRECTING ME HERE WITH AND AS BREATH
I AM HERE I AM STABLE I AM LIFE
I
HERE
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